Summary of session 7.  Focus on Solutions not Problems

If you’ve been doing the work, you should be noticing changes in your life by now.
Remember that change is scary to your subconscious, which is designed to keep you safe. (Familiar is safe, even if it’s unpleasant and not what you wish for your life).  So, you might be getting warnings from your subconscious throwing up all sorts of limiting beliefs.  That makes this an excellent time to capture those limiting beliefs and re-pattern them.  

Re-patterning beliefs takes repetition.  Your current beliefs have been playing out again and again over the years, even if below the level of your awareness.  They’ve been running your life.  The good news is that this subconscious laying down of neural pathways is much less powerful than consciously laying down new neural pathways, especially if you can connect your new empowering beliefs to an emotion or an image.  To re-pattern them, you need to frequently expose yourself to them so, be sure to put the new empowering beliefs into your LifeChanger app so they’re always available for frequent review.  

Remember, if you expect change to be “messy in the middle” then you won’t be put off from your course when it is.

Often, people think that when things are getting tough, it might be a message from the Universe that they’re not meant to be doing this.  It provides fuel for the nay-sayer or even your inner nay-sayer to say “I told you so”, “I told you this was a stupid idea”, “I told you you weren’t good enough to do this”, etc.  However, challenges and obstacles are qualifiers, not stop signs. 

Obstacles, may require a change in direction (but not in destination) – like with an autopilot constantly making adjustments based on feedback on a flight from London to New York.    

When there appears to be an obstacle, this is not the time to give up on your dream.  Look for a solution and tell yourself “there’s always a way”.  Be curious as to why this obstacle has shown up.  What do you need to learn from it?

Solutions focus vs. Problems focus

Problem focus – What went wrong?  Whose fault was it?  What caused it? When does this problem happen? What triggers it?  This gets us a lot of information (and perhaps makes us feel more in control), but it doesn’t take us very far toward solving the problem.
E.g. imagine going to a large supermarket with a list of all the things you don’t need to buy!
Problems focus is even worse if you believe that you get more of what you focus on.
E.g. I have so many bills and I just can’t ever seem to find the money to pay them.  What do you think this brings you more of?

SOLUTIONS FOCUS – By Mark McKergow & Paul Jackson
The miracle question.  If after I went to bed tonight a miracle happened and my problem/obstacle was gone. What would I notice had changed when I get up in the morning? What would life without this problem look like? 
In the future, how will we know that the problem is getting better? Is there ever any evidence of that now (resources)? (e.g. in a difficult relationship, are there days/times when the relationship is OK?) – what makes that happen?  How can we build on this progress?  How can we make more like this?

SIMPLE
S solutions not problems
I in-between – look for occasions when things are better
M making use of what’s working – become more aware of strengths and abilities from one situation that can spill over into other situations. What is working? How can I build on that?
P possibilities – what can be changed
L language – small words, no diagnoses, small steps, small ways to know things getting better
E every case is different – don’t want a generic answer to your problems

Scaling – Where am I now? 1-10. Why so high? Resources. 

Welcome problems as an opportunity to grow. 

Confusion is a necessary part of the process; allow a space for it.  The answers do not need to come immediately.  Trust the process and that the solutions for every problem are available somewhere. 

If the period of confusion is scary, remember to drop in and consider that right here, right now you are OK.  Keep an open mind and an open heart and, instead of saying “I can’t”, say “How can I?”.  Better questions send your mind on a quest for better answers.

Move past obstacles with a solution-focused process.

Ask yourself:  How can I find solutions to these limitations?  Who can help me get started?  Who can I learn from that has done something like this before?  What changes do I have to make in me?

Take persistent small steps in the general direction of your desired outcome and adjust as needed.

Get support from people around you. Who are your real friends?
Your success will most often reflect the level of success of the 5 people you keep around you the most, so look to spend your time with people who are trying to change themselves for the better and will support you to do the same.  Also, spend your mental time thinking about the possibilities of the future, rather than about any failures from the past.

What you need to make progress is a community of support;  people to keep you accountable when you say you are going to do something (lose weight, give up smoking, start a business, speak your truth, if you want a new loving relationship go out and meet people).

Can you get yourself to believe that the Universe is friendly to you and to your goal?  Perhaps you can believe that your desire for something more than what you have or/are now is your higher self or inner soul calling you to tell you that the Universe/God wants more from you.  To me, the fact that you’re still breathing is an indication that the Universe wants more from you. So, instead of thinking the Universe/God is against you, how about trying to ask it/him/her what it wants for you and how you should answer this divine calling.